10 Things That Annoy Me About Football Manager
By callum | July 15, 2024 | 1268 Views
One of the standout features of Football Manager that has consistently made me keep buying the game every couple of years, and play every hour I can, is the realism of the simulation.
I’m not a real football manager! I can’t go to work at a stadium and engross myself in the thrills and pitfalls of football management, bringing home big bucks and big dreams, or carry with me to work the hopes and prayers of thousands of fans on a daily basis… nor would I really want the pressure! However, in Football Manager, I can have a snippet of that ride; a taste of that life, and I want it to be as close to the real thing as I could possibly get.
Which is why I declare unashamedly that Football Manager does indeed hurt.
Oh it hurts us… why does FM hurt us Precious?
While there are possibly a great deal many more things that you or I may find irksome about Football Manager, the first 10 that came to mind are listed herein. They are not listed in any particular order, but all of them surely appear through every single playthrough without exception – some of them much more often than I would care to admit.
1. Injuries to new players
We’ve surely all been there. You spend countless hours pondering your too-small budget, considering the wage restrictions or coming up with clever ways of spreading the costs over multiple seasons and voila, a successful purchase of the very player that will change your fortunes forever.
A new striker who will surely end your run of games without scoring. A new goalkeeper to replace the dross you could muster from the U21’s, or a midfield dynamo to connect the dots and create a title challenging team or save you from certain relegation. And then they go and get a 6 month injury through broken legs or cruciate ligament damage, or something else that absolutely wouldn’t have happened in real life minutes after walking out of the conference room of the football stadium having signed a new contract and before even tying up the laces on his fancy new boots.
2. Players getting upset when getting what they want
You’ve got a player who just doesn’t fit into your plans. He’s highly regarded by his teammates who start to grumble and even hold a team meeting because they think you should be giving him what he wants. Obviously, the number one issue is lack of game time.
So you promise him you’ll give him game time. The very next match, you figure to bring him on as a substitute first, no reason to throw him in at the deep end after all. Half an hour to go, you chuck him on with a cheeky pep talk about how there is no pressure. Minutes later he’s unhappy as it transpires he would have rather stayed on the bench!
I mean c’mon!
3. Players upset after being rested for one match
Your top advisors believe you should rest your right back because he’s clearly exhausted and has been carrying the team during the busy Christmas period. You approach him and suggest, cautiously, that you intend to rest him for one match, even a week if the fixture list is kind enough. He agrees to the rest, citing that he is even pleased at the idea – after all, he is paid a small fortune to sit at home and play Xbox rather than go to train or do anything else constructive.
The next match is upon you; you have deselected your favourite right back, the person after whom you have named your first born, and placed in his stead, the back up; a chap who reminds you of your uncle’s lunatic spawn, the one who wibbles and drools and thinks trees are his friends.
You go to the match only to find your golden child is hurt having been left out of the squad. Half the team agrees with him too, no less. Everyone hates you, they all think you should go find a pool of tar and lie down face first until the end of time.
4. Players not passing, getting dispossessed and conceding a cheap goal
Ok, this one maybe doesn’t happen as often, fortunately. But when it does happen, it’s bound to be costly. It’s not going to happen when you’re 4-0 up away from home. No siree… it’s 0-0, a point is required to win the league, or the cup, or just bragging rights, heck, even to keep your job, when your 5 star centre back holds onto the ball in the middle of the park weighing up his choices of pass.
Suddenly, and hardly from nowhere, the opposition striker jauntily parades past, pickpockets my elite player and proceeds to go up and put it past my bewildered keeper. Everyone is stunned. Obviously I’m to blame. I hate you all.
5. Team touchline shouts gone wrong!
This one just plain bugs me. It shouldn’t matter the score, a shout of encouragement is surely always a welcome thing. Whether you’re a goal down, a goal up, or trouncing your feeble opposition like a bully in a sand pit, when your beloved boss stands at the sides and shouts words of encouragement, you should feel a sense of zing, a warming of the cockles, a feeling of delight and renewed vigour.
Instead, my players reacted with frustration and confusion! Granted this is usually the case when they’re already winning, but it has happened at other times too. For the next ten minutes they behave like they’ve never seen a football before, let alone kicked one! What’s confusing John? I’m encouraging you… not bleeding reciting Shakespeare to you, you massive bellen…. You get the picture!
6. Losing to the club at the bottom of the league
Let’s talk about algorithms… There are a few things that are guaranteed in Football Manager, some of which will make the list further below… and the algorithm doing you over is assuredly one of them. It doesn’t matter which league you play, it is almost always going to happen. Whether I’m spear-heading a title run with Arsenal in the Premier League or 20 points clear of the next best placed team in the Czech First division, when I come up against the team rooted at the foot of the table, I will always lose!
I’m not ashamed to admit that I have reloaded a save after a “shock” (no shock really) defeat to the bottom of the table Brno or Luton Town, even when I don’t reload a soul-sucking semi-final defeat to a Championship side (well done Coventry) that robs me of a coveted triple! I find it very frustrating, and I’m sure a bunch of you would argue that there is realism in that defeat….
But let’s consider the form books John. Luton have won once in 28 games. That was against Man City surprisingly (happily), but they’ve lost 25 others. So how on earth did they defeat my world-beaters? I’m not having it…. I’m just not having it.
7. Luck of the draw; the cup draw
This is a two-pronged complaint really. It happens very often, however, hence it makes the list. FA Cup Round 3. It doesn’t matter which team I’m managing; it could be plucky Buxton from the Vanarama National League North or Chelsea, I am almost always guaranteed to be drawn against one of England’s top 6 teams. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been drawn against Liverpool or Man Utd/City in round 3.
Further to that, when I am in the top flight, not only do I always get drawn against a top 6 team but as it happens I’m due to play them the following match in the league. The number of times I’ve had double headers against these sides is incredible. It’s not just these sides either, or round 3.
I’ve had it in the Quarter Finals of the Carabao Cup. I was Aston Villa and I’ve been drawn against Sunderland. Lo, but I have them next in the league. I don’t know about you guys, but I rarely beat the same team twice in a row! It’s either a cup exit or a dip in league form at a crucial time.
8. Being FM’d
This was hinted at earlier up the list. Another sure-thing from the algorithm monster is being FM’d. We’ve definitely all been there! You’re on a terrific run of form. You’ve won the last 8 league matches in a row, everyone is happy. Everyone except me, because I know what’s coming.
You’re up against a mediocre side, or even a side battling against relegation. It’s often a home match too, in front of your passionate, roaring fans. You’ve mustered 20+ shots, most of them on target, your opposition haven’t even touched the ball. They get one chance, putting it away with a stunner. The stats suggest you are by far and away the better side, but you’ve gone down 1-0 at the final whistle. Oh, how it hurts us.
9. Inconsistency in Star Rating
This is something I believe deviates from reality a little, after all, realism doesn’t see your players coated with star ratings, but principally, the object is the same. You spend a colossal amount of time sifting through the many agent suggestions, transfer lists and scout reports until you can find someone that fits your team like a glove. They are perfection incarnate. They are a 5 star wonder.
However, you quickly come to realise that your new five star megastar, the reason why thousands turn up each week and the backbone of your personal project, actually plays no better than your two star U21 reserve player that you’ve stuck on the loan list and no one wants, not even Carlisle United.
What makes this galling is that they are expensive, have a massive ego, and only get an average rating of 6.4 week in week out. Basically, your regular go-to guy before this purchase, at a paltry three stars, who gets a 6.8 average rating, was just as good and wasn’t annoyed at you before you brought in a replacement. Oh, and when he grumbles about how you’ve treated him, or your new 5-star signing grumbles when you eventually drop him, of course half the team takes the side of the players.
10. Angry players at transfer refusal
Perhaps the least realistic thing I see occur whilst playing Football Manager is when a club submits a transfer for one of my players and my player gets upset that I declined it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about Real Madrid trying to buy my centre midfielder when I’m in charge of Birmingham City – obviously he would want to go.
I’m referring to when a club like Mlada Boleslav of the Czech league decides to have a cheeky bid on my Man City title contenders elite forward, or when Derby County of the Championship vie for my class 1 centre back at Everton. Why in their right mind, would they want to leave for something worse? They wouldn’t be offered more wages, there is no European football… it doesn’t make sense.
Final Thoughts
And that, to conclude, is the point of these ramblings. There are things that happen in the game that don’t make sense. Things that occur that seem only designed to cause deliberate obstacles, ruin perfect runs, or create an air of intrigue, even if they are almost certainly impossible. The game doesn’t care that I want realism; it doesn’t care that I get annoyed at any of these ten points – or the many others I didn’t mention. It will do what it wants to do because that is what it does.
If I really, really cared that much I’d probably stop playing the game. Instead, I’ll throw my toys out of the pram, probably rage quit for 24 hours, then start a new save in a bid to get Blyth Spartans to the Premier League.
This fantastic article was written by Robin Bonnick. If you would also like to write an article to be published on the FMBrotherhoood website, please comment on this page or email [email protected]